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2 tips to avoid turning arguments into marriage-ending conflicts

You might be trying to decide if you want to go through a divorce, but you may also be considering counseling or ways to save your marriage. One thing you can do to help your marriage is to decide on different ways to approach arguments. Here are a couple ways that you can argue and come out feeling better about the conflict.

One of the first things you can do if an argument is on the horizon is to start softly. Instead of speaking to the other person with an accusatory voice, begin by asking a question and resisting the urge to yell at the other person. You should ease into your conversation by being calm and respectful. Typically, if you approach conversations by being aggressive, the person will be aggressive back and neither of you will feel positive about the situation.

Another way to diffuse your arguments is to stop thinking of them as fights. Instead of becoming defensive, come into the argument thinking of it as a way to discuss your feelings and to come to an amicable solution. For example, if you said that you would do something at a certain time but your spouse thought it was a different time, you may be tempted to argue your point and make sure that he or she knows you were correct. Really, there is no point to this. Instead, apologizing or explaining that you are sorry that there was a miscommunication will help resolve the situation more amicably.

If you've tried to change things in your relationship and don't see the changes you'd like to see overall, divorce is an option. Your attorney can give you more information on what you need to start the process.

Source: The Huffington Post, "6 Ways To Argue And Not End Up Divorced," Brittany Wong, accessed Nov. 01, 2016

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